7 Calming Strategies For BPD.




These calming strategies are used depending on what mood you’re in.

What you could do to get through it?

  1. Angry, frustrated, restless
  • rip up a newspaper
  • hit a pillow
  • throw ice cubes into the bath so they smash
  • do some vigorous exercise
  • listen to loud music
  • do a practical activity like gardening or woodwork.

2. Depressed, sad, lonely

  • wrap up in a blanket and watch your favourite tv show
  • write all your negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear it up
  • listen to a song or piece of music you find uplifting
  • write a comforting letter to the part of yourself that is feeling sad or alone
  • cuddle a pet or a soft toy.

3. Anxious, panicky, tense

  • make yourself a hot drink and drink it slowly, noticing the taste and smell, the shape of the mug and its weight in your hand
  • take ten deep breaths, counting each one out loud
  • write down everything you can think of about where you are right now, such as the time, date, colour of the walls and the furniture in the room
  • take a warm bath or shower – this can help change your mood by creating a soothing atmosphere and a distracting physical sensation.

4. Dissociative, spaced out


  • chew a piece of ginger or chili
  • clap your hands and notice the stinging sensation
  • drink a glass of ice cold water.

5. Want to self-harm

  • rub ice over where you want to hurt yourself
  • stick sellotape or a plaster on your skin and peel it off
  • take a cold bath.

6. Keep a mood diary

Recording your moods in a diary could help you spot patterns in what triggers difficult experiences for you, or notice early signs that they are beginning to happen.

You could also make a note of what’s going well. It’s really important to be kind to yourself and recognize difficult steps you’ve taken, or new things you’ve tried.

7. Make a self-care box

You could put together some things that might help you when you’re struggling – a bit like making a first-aid kit for your mental health.

For example:

  • favourite books, films or CDs
  • a stress ball or fiddle toy
  • helpful sayings or notes of encouragement
  • pictures or photos you find comforting
  • a soft blanket or cosy slippers
  • a nice-smelling candle or lavender bag.

please note that this list of strategies most centered on BPD.

Published by Amy

Psychology Graduate and Mental Health Coach, I offer support services for adults living with mental health issues. Understanding your struggles is the first step towards healing.

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