What Is Abuse Amnesia and How Do You Heal?

Have you ever considered the effects abuse whether its physical or emotional can have damaging or devastating effects on your memory? Trauma leaves life long scars that may take forever to heal. Ever wondered why some people don’t see red flags, signs of an abusive partner?

Last week I was asked “how can someone heal from Abuse Amnesia?” Below I have put together 9 ways one could start the healing process.

What is Abuse Amnesia?

Abuse Amnesia is a form of cognitive suppression where an abuse victim has trouble remembering episodes where their boundaries have been violated. In some cases, not-so-positive traits are used to adapt to an abusive situation. These include minimizing, denial, rationalization, pretending/fantasizing, “spacing out,” alcohol and drug use developing symptoms of anxiety and depression, and posttraumatic stress.

An exacerbating condition occurs if the person experiencing abuse grew up in an abusive household. In this case, the person may have been conditioned to adapt to an abusive environment by utilizing the above-listed coping styles. People in this situation do not typically respond to “red flags” because they have become accustomed or desensitized to them during their developmental years. They have most likely honed the art of abuse amnesia.


If you realize you have abuse amnesia, then action is required to change. Here are some practical steps to take to stop the patterns of abuse:

Realize you have value and should be treated accordingly. You do not deserve to be treated poorly by your partner. You deserve dignity and respect. Settle for nothing less.

  1. Get support. You need to find healthy relationships to be part of and safe people to talk to. Abuse is damaging to your personhood. In order to heal, it is essential that you be around people who will not abuse you under any circumstances. Find support from kind, compassionate people who are good listeners. Consider meeting with a therapist.
  2. Write a list of abusive incidents and keep adding to it. Write down what the abusive person is doing to you and keep adding to it. It might look like this: (1) Called me a name; (2) Blamed me for our last fight; (3) Didn’t follow through with a commitment; (4) Threw a cup at my head; and so on. In healthy relationships, keeping a “record of wrongs” is unwise because it is counterproductive to focus on a partner’s failings; however, in an abusive relationship, different rules apply.
  3. Write a recovery plan for yourself. To do this, you need to know what you want to change about yourself—not the other person. This list can contain as many goals as you want, but three may be a manageable start. For instance, you could have goals such as these: (1) I will pay attention to my needs and take care of them at all times; (2) I will not sacrifice myself for a relationship; (3) I will live in an abuse-free environment. Your list should contain personal boundaries and bottom-line behaviors. Carry these written goals everywhere you go.
  4. Stop pretending and live in truth. Tell yourself, “I will not push things under the rug anymore and instead will hold my partner accountable.” How do you hold someone accountable? You tell them, “I will not put up with this behavior one more minute. You either get help or I will not be able to invest my emotional energy in this relationship until you do.” Follow through.
  5. Value yourself. Realize you have value and should be treated accordingly. You do not deserve to be treated poorly by your partner. You deserve dignity and respect. Settle for nothing less.
  6. Find your voice. Start talking about your situation to others. Abuse thrives in secrecy.
  7. Set boundaries. There may be many boundary violations in an abusive relationship. Learn to identify what boundaries you need to incorporate in order to break the cycle of abuse and protect yourself. Remember: boundaries involve your behavior, not the other person’s. You can only change yourself. People who perpetrate abuse hate boundaries, so recognize the more you try to implement them the more you may be challenged.
  8. Learn abstinence. An abusive relationship is akin to an addiction. Both partners become addicted to the patterns and the brain chemicals involved in the toxic interactions. A primary ingredient for working a recovery plan is to implement abstinence. You must abstain from toxic encounters. One thing you can abstain from is abuse amnesia—refuse to allow yourself to just “move on” after an abusive encounter.
  9. Journal. As you attempt to heal, write your feelings in a journal. Keep track of what is happening in your relationship. Notice the patterns and write your feelings down so you can realize what is happening in your life. Journaling can help you feel your emotions, process your thoughts, and get to a place of healing. The first step for any type of recovery involves awareness. As you become aware that you have been overlooking abuse, you actually implement the first step of recovery. Awareness precedes action and impedes denial. Awareness involves the idea of realization—that is, understanding that “this is really happening, it is happening now, and it is happening to me.” source: Abuse Amnesia: Why We Stay with Our Abusive Partners

The Walking Corpse Syndrome, The Scariest Mental Disorder

What is Cotard Delusion?

Recently, I was asked what psychotic disorder is the scariest? Although, Cotard Delusion is an extremely rare mental disorder it seems to be one of the scariest mental disorders I have ever heard of. Below I have written a brief description of this mental disorder.

Cotard Delusion

This scary mental disorder causes the sufferer to believe that they are the walking dead (literally) or a ghost, and that their body is decaying and/or they’ve lost all blood and their internal organs. The feeling of having a rotting body is usually a part of the delusion, persons suffering from Cotard Delusion experience severe depression. In some cases, the delusion causes sufferers to starve themselves to death. The terrifying disorder was first described in 1880 by neurologist Jules Cotard, fortunately, Cotard’s Delusion has proven to be extremely rare.

The most well-known case of Cotard Delusion actually occurred in Haiti, where a man was convinced he had died of AIDS and was living in hell.

What is Trypophobia?


Is Trypophobia a real mental mental illness?

Trypophobia is not recognised by the American Psychiatric Association’s DSM-5 as a phobia. However, I recently had the opportunity to speak with someone who believes that he has Trypophobia, he is not in treatment or on any kind of medication to treat this phobia as it only occurs when he sees or is in direct contact with small clusters of holes that looks like the image below.

What exactly is Trypophobia?

Trypophobia is a condition where a person experiences a fear or aversion to clusters of small holes which is thought to be triggered when a person sees a pattern of small clustered holes, bringing about symptoms, such as fear, disgust, and anxiety.

Trypophobia is not currently recognized by the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), although the term trypophobia has been in use since 2009.

Look at some facts on trypophobia:

  • There is limited current research on the condition, yet some theories do exist and some researchers question the validity of trypophobia as a condition or phobia, as suggested by a recent study. Since some potentially dangerous animals have similar ‘holey’ patterns on their bodies, people may make an unconscious association between these patterns and the animals.

A person with trypophobia experiences symptoms, such as fear, disgust, anxiety, goosebumps, and panic, on seeing clusters of small holes.

There is conflicting research as to whether the condition is, in fact, a genuine phobia. More research is needed in this area to validate the condition.

5 Rare Mental Disorders

These mental disorders are so rare that many mental health professionals have never encountered them in their careers.

These uncommon conditions may be “merely a specific form of a more general psychopathology” and “span delusional misinterpretations; trauma-induced mental phenomena that range from anxiety to dissociative phenomena and psychosis; reactions to overwhelming experiences; and distinct phenomena following neurologic damage.”

The following are examples of rare mental disorders.

Rare Mental Disorders

  1. Stendhal Syndrome

Those with Stendhal syndrome experience physical and emotional anxiety as well as panic attacks, dissociative experiences, confusion and hallucinations when exposed to art. These symptoms are usually triggered by “art that is perceived as particularly beautiful or when the individual is exposed to large quantities of art that are concentrated in a single place,” such as a museum or gallery, Medscape says. However, individuals may experience similar reactions to beauty in nature. This syndrome is named after a 19th-century French author who experienced the symptoms during a trip to Florence in 1817. Stendhal syndrome may also be called hyperculturemia or Florence syndrome.

2. Apotemnophilia

Also known as body integrity identity disorder, apotemnophilia is characterized by the “overwhelming desire to amputate healthy parts of [the] body,” according to Medscape. Though not much is known about it, this disorder is believed to be neurological. Those affected may attempt to amputate their own limbs or damage the limb so that surgical amputation is necessary. Apotemnophilia may be related to right parietal lobe damage in the brain. The condition is challenging to treat because people experiencing it often do not seek treatment. However, both cognitive behavioral therapy and aversion therapies can be attempted in order to treat apotemnophilia once treatment is sought.

3. Alien Hand Syndrome

This syndrome is characterized by the belief that one’s hand “does not belong to oneself, but that it has its own life,” Medscape says. Individuals experiencing alien hand syndrome have normal sensation but feel their hand is autonomous, with a “will of its own.” Those with alien hand syndrome may personify the limb as a separate entity: the unaffected hand is under the individual’s control while the affected hand has its own agenda. This syndrome may occur in individuals who have damage to the corpus callosum, which connects the two cerebral hemispheres of the brain. Other causes include stroke and damage to the parietal lobe. The hands then appear to be in “intermanual conflict” or “ideomotor apraxia,” meaning they act in opposition to one another.

4. Capgras Syndrome

This syndrome is named for Joseph Capgras, a French psychiatrist who explored the illusion of doubles. Those with Capgras syndrome hold the delusional belief that someone in their life, usually a spouse, close friend or family member, has been replaced by an impostor. It can occur in patients with schizophrenia, dementia, epilepsy and after traumatic brain injury. Treatment approaches mirror those utilized for the underlying disorders and often include antipsychotic medications.

5. Alice in Wonderland Syndrome

Also known as Todd syndrome, Alice in Wonderland syndrome (AIWS) is a neurologic condition “in which a patient’s sense of body image, space, and/or time [is] distorted,” according to Medscape. Those experiencing AIWS may have hallucinations, sensory distortion and an altered sense of velocity. AIWS results from change in perception. Though there are many symptoms, the most prevalent one is altered body image: Patients are confused about the size and shape of parts of their bodies. These symptoms can trigger panic and fear responses. AIWS is often associated with frequent migraines, brain tumors or drug use. It can affect children between the ages of 5 and 10.

As the stigma surrounding mental illness lessens (90 percent of Americans now value mental and physical health equally), more people are able to access the interventions and health care services they need. This in turn could lead to a clearer grasp of rare mental disorders like those covered here. If more trained mental health professionals are able to study syndromes like these, there is greater likelihood of identifying effective treatments and fostering greater understanding.

The Most Dangerous Narcissistic Type

Author’s note: The DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) does not distinguish between the different types of narcissists. It is important to know that there are a few different subsets of Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD): malignant, covert and overt narcissists to name a few.

Believe it or not Narcissists are dangerous and many survivors of narcisstic abuse will describe a narcissist as DANGEROUS. If you welcome a Narcissist into your life, you will be dancing with the devil; a narcissist intention is to do only one thing to you: is too use, abuse and destroy you.

I have found from various studies Narcisssists openly admits to being aware that they hurt others and simply do not care it gives them a sense of satisfaction and that’s extremely troubling for those involved with a narcissistic partner.


What makes a Malignant Narcissist so Dangerous?

There are different types of narcissist and not all of them are created equally. Some of these self-obsessed megalomaniacs are more dangerous than others, and the toxicity of their relationships varies from person to person. Knowing the most dangerous type of narcissist will allow you to avoid them to a greater extent in the future, thus helping you to establish boundaries that help you protect your heart and your peace of mind.

The malignant Narcissist are by far the most dangerous and most damaging.

Their main focus is primarily on themselves and be held in very high regard by everyone in their lives, they have a deep dark side to their self-absorption. This subset contains the general traits of NPD including egocentricity, but also possess antisocial traits, with a sadistic streak along with a poor sense of self and lacking empthy.

Experts find that there is little difference between Malignant narcissists and Psychopaths, both seem to have a sadistic, antisocial streak, and have very little empathy.

  • These Malignant narcissists are highly manipulative and they do not care who they hurt as long as the get their way.
  • They see the world in black-and-white terms, including seeing others as friend or foe.
  • They seek to win at all costs and leave a great amount of pain, frustration , and heartache in their path.
  • They generally don’t care about the pain they cause others, as a matter of fact they tend to enjoy hurting others, seeing them suffer; this experience is empowering to the Narc.
  • They will do whatever it takes to prevent themselves from loss, inconvenience, or failing to get what they want in any situation.

The Most Dangerous Zodiac Sign Ranked

Please note that a zodiac sign cannot predict a person’s actions and behaviours by itself one has to take into consideration that there are other contributing factors that have impact on the character of the individual. Contributing factors such as their upbringing and the environment, these impact largely on how an individual develops their habits and tendencies, yet still most behaviours are not fully understood.

Interestingly, the FBI published birth dates of various serial killers and psychopaths, that have helped them analyze, the zodiac signs that are most likely to exhibit criminal behaviour and those that are not.

I have listed the zodiac signs from the least dangerous to the most dangerous zodiac signs.


Are the least dangerous of all zodiac signs. Geminis are extremely kind hearted and good people, they don’t take life too seriously. The only bad quality they have is that they talk too much, and may end up annoying people rather than killing anyone


Are harmless, and while they may be smart, they also have a big ego. If they do commit a small crime it will be very hard to prove them guilty. Why? Because they are good at hiding evidence. Aquarians have a rational mind, which is why, it is probably impossible that they would actually kill someone.


Leos have a big ego, and they think highly of themselves and do not hesitate to share their success with others around them. They like to have control over everyone and everything and it is always their priority to be respected and listened to. While they do have a dominating personality, the chances that they would engage in a crime are slim.


Librans have a calm and patient personality which makes them great listeners. They are also good at asking for advice, and are loyal to their friends and family. While they are generally calm, they can also lose their temper at times if people treat their loved ones badly, and then that happens, things may not go well, and it is a possibility that the Libran may kill in an anger outburst.


Virgos tend to be quite sneaky. They have some of the features of a criminal, but they would not choose violence and murder. They often commit smaller crimes.


It can be hard to imagine Pisces in crime since they are so loving and caring, but it is also important to note that they have little self control. Sometimes, they can become insecure and unstable which can make them dangerous. It has been found that Pisces have trust issues and they can easily become addicted to things and people. A few famous serial killers were found to be born under this sign.


Capricorns are a dangerous sign. Statistically it has been found that they are behind a lot of mass murders. It is not a good idea to provoke people who are Capricorns or make them angry, because they can be extremely dangerous.


Aries are hot headed and can lose their temper super fast. While their anger does not last long, they can often get crazy and aggressive, but not the killing type though. However, it is best to not test the waters and provoke them to check it out.


While Taurus people may not be serial killers, they can be frauds because they love money and luxury so much. This love can take them to bad and dangerous paths, and when they get angry they know how to protect themselves and can get aggressive as hell.


Sagittarians are the craziest of all signs. They are great manipulators and controllers and also turn out to be excellent leaders. On the downside though, it is these qualities that also make them mass crime committers for example Ted Bundy, Pablo Escobar, Joseph Stalin have all been Sagittarius born.


Statistics have shown that a good number of serial killers are born under the sign of the Scorpio, which is not a surprise since they are known to be extremely intense, passionate, loyal and unpredictable. It is a good idea to be careful around people with this sign.


Cancerians are the most dangerous of all signs. This comes from their lack of control over themselves and their manipulative behavior. They also exhibit passive aggressive behavior which makes it more difficult to understand them. They also have the tendency to become jealous and feel more intensely than any other sign, which is why, they may commit murders and other crimes if someone hurts their loved ones.

In conclusion, it can be easily said that there are certain qualities that shape and influence us. While every Cancer and Scorpio might not be dangerous, it is a good idea to pay extra attention to any individual’s behavior. If your instincts tell you something is wrong, trust it, because it is always right.

Household Chores Could Help Fight Depression

How many of you thought of doing household chores to fight depression? Not me!

Personally chores are my least favourite thing but we don’t do them who will. For many years researchers and mental health professionals all try to find different ways to help people suffering with depression to cope.

Studies have shown that household chores even chores around the home may help depression rather than make it worst.

Washing dishes, making your bed, dusting, and other common chores can lower stress, boost happiness.

Here are some good tips that seem very helpful in reducing depression. When you do these chores do them mindfully, when cleaning and doing the dishes use a detergent or dish washing liquid with lemon added to it research suggests that lemon or citrus fragrance has a calming effect on the brain.

How important the practice of mindfulness is if we were able to practice mindfulness more frequently, the effects would be amazing.

Look at these tips below:

Wash dishes: Reduce anxiety

People who cleaned their plates mindfully (they focused on smelling the soap, feeling the water temperature, and touching the dishes) lowered their nervousness levels by 27 percent, found a recent study of 51 people out of Florida State University’s psychology department. People who didn’t take as thoughtful approach to their dish washing did not experience a similar calming benefit.

Dust with a lemon cleaner: Be happier

A citrusy scent is a potent mood booster, according to a 2014 Japanese study. When participants spent as little as ten minutes inhaling yuzu (a super-tart and citrusy Japanese fruit), they saw a significant decrease in their overall mood disturbance, a measure of tension, anxiety, depression, confusion, fatigue and anger.

Make your bed every morning: Boost productivity

Your nagging mom was right: Starting your day with a freshly made bed is what Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, calls a “keystone habit”; one that has a ripple effect to create other good behavior. In his book, Duhigg notes that making your bed every morning is linked to better productivity, a greater sense of well-being. Bedmakers also report getting a better night’s sleep than those who leave their covers messy in the morning, per a National Sleep Foundation poll reported by WebMD.

Mow the lawn: Feel more joyful

There’s something to that grassy scent. Australian researchers discovered that a chemical released by freshly cut grass makes people feel more relaxed and more joyful.

Grow flowers and vegetables: Lower depression risk

In a study out of Norway, people diagnosed with different forms of depression spent six hours a week gardening; after a few months, they experienced a notable improvement in their depression symptoms, and their good moods continued for months after the study ended. Doing a new activity and being outside in nature can certainly help, but some experts believe that dirt itself might be a depression fighter.