Comparison Steals Your Joy

Comparing-Yourself

Today I read an article it was saying “comparing yourself to others can be helpful” but to what extent. As a Life Coach, I always tell my clients that the only person you should compare yourself to is your previous self look back to take tips and help improve yourself. But from the time you begin comparing yourself to others you are going to be very disappointed. Not everyone’s journey is the same we all encounter challenges, problems, situations.

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They say that comparison steals all your joy, and there’s no doubt that the hours we spend measuring our own life with others this time would be better spent being grateful for what we do have, or even working to achieve the goals we have set for ourselves. Before you start comparing yourself to others develop an attitude of gratitude and be grateful for everything that you do have. The simplest form of gratitude opens your mind and creates opportunities.

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You should not COMPARE yourself to others and here is why:

It steals your joy

comparing yourself to others only makes your life difficult and brings you misery, pain, and even envy thus making you unhappy. Instead, try using others as motivation to work harder and do better. Be sure to work hard to achieve your goal something that you crave for.

It will hinder your progress

If you spend your days comparing yourself to other people’s achievements, you’ll never accomplish anything. Instead, invest all your energy into pursuing your own dreams and goals. Don’t waste your time on those of others it will only keep you from making progress towards your future.

You can’t physically change who you are

You are you and you are unique. You’ll always be you. You cannot be anyone else. This is a good thing.

No one has a perfect life

As long as you are alive on this earth you will have problems. No one is exempted from them. Everyone experiences problems and challenges throughout their lives, its part of life. Some people are just better at masking their problems at least on the outside. So next time you think about comparing yourself to your friend or neighbor, you might be surprised to know what they are enduring on a daily basis.

There may be someone better than you at something.

It seems harsh to say but the reality is that someone is always going to be better than you at something but the same goes for you. You may be better at something than someone else. The trick is to find what you are good at and work on it, create goals and challenge yourself. Try to be your best and do the best in everything you do and whatever is meant to be will fall into place for you at the right moment.


Recovery after a breakup

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“Getting over pain and experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward”. – C.S. Lewis

A breakup is never easy and letting go of the person is twice as difficult. We all go through heartache or two or three. Its life but I believe it’s better to be alone than with the wrong person. Who knows, that breakup was just clearing the way for an even more beautiful relationship to come. It is truly heartbreaking to see some people allow themselves to suffer to the extent of wanting or even taking their own lives. We have so much to live for and all this hurt and pain that we are feeling will soon pass, time is the best healer. Breaking up is not the end of the world but a new beginning an opportunity to grow.

Buddhism says “pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” Many of us want to avoid the pain of loss through distraction or dating again. I believe that after a breakup we should take this time to reconnect with ourselves, to grow and to heal these wounds, if we enter into another relationship before we fully recover. We are most likely to bleed on this person not giving them a fair chance to prove their love for us.

Below I have put together this blog to help people that are going through a difficult breakup or those who may want to leave a bad relationship while still in love but they realized that holding on is more painful than letting go.

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Below is a brief overview

The psychological reasons why it is so difficult to move on after a breakup?

  1. Attachment – Our desire to connect with others is one of the deepest human motivators. According to Evolutionary psychologists, bonding has helped us survive harsh conditions. Developing close bonds with caregivers is essential to a child’s emotional and physical development. Research states that babies who are deprived of human contact or touch become sick and have cognitive delays. When children are separated from a caregiver, they send out signals to keep their loved ones close. They may cry, become angry (protest behavior), or anxious (separation anxiety). If the separation persists, children move into despair, and eventually detachment. As adults, many of us transfer our attachment needs onto a romantic partner. This means that when they are not available, we might send some of the same attachment signals as children.
  2. Changes in our Self-Concept – Early in a relationship, it’s natural to immerse yourself in the interests and identity of your new partner. When your relationship ends, it’s also natural to feel a temporary loss of your sense of self. While relationships can lead to a greater sense of self, breakups can lead to a smaller sense of self. Another change that occurs is the recreational activities, friends, can also be lost with a relationship this is called the self-concept content change.
  3. Memory – As with any significant relationship, the interactions we have are stored into two memory systems called implicit and explicit memory. Implicit memory is an unconscious type of memory that develops just before birth. It includes nonverbal, sensory, emotional, and motor memory. Between 12-18 months, explicit memory develops, which enable us to remember facts, timelines, and stories. As we develop, we continue to encode implicit and explicit memories together. So what do implicit and explicit memory have to do with breakups? The memories we have encoded during the relationship are often brought up through reminders, which can lead to negative emotions. These are called triggers. 

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Impact of breakups

In times of crisis, it is helpful to make sense of your experience. Many researchers have found that putting emotions into words has a calming effect on our brain and how you cope.

Exercise:

List all of the symptoms you have been experiencing since the breakup these should include:

Physical Symptoms

Emotional Reactions

Your Thoughts

Your Behaviors

When should one seek help from a professional 

for most these symptoms they are natural reactions that should fade over time. But in some cases, if the reactions persist and it interferes with the person’s ability to function then this will be a cause for concern and it time to seek professional help. 

Planning suicide – At this moment you may not be able to imagine your life without this person, but if you or anyone you know is considering ending their life, contact a professional immediately (e.g. psychologist)

Planning to hurt others – It is quite normal to be angry after your ex has broken up with you but it is a cause for concern when you are planning to harm them or anyone else, please contact any professional support system available (e.g. Psychologist, doctor)

If your symptoms have worsened or you haven’t seen any way of getting over this breakup within 4-6 weeks (please seek help).

If the breakup involved infidelity, manipulation, or abuse

If your ex threatens to harm you

You are using a self-destructive method to cope (e.g. drugs or alcohol use).

Retraining your inner voice

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HOW TO RETRAIN YOUR INNER VOICE AFTER VERBAL ABUSE?

Retraining your inner voice after years of being with an abuser who constantly invaded your true inner voice feeding it negatively, it will take practice and patience to learn to hear your own intuition and inner voice after you have been conditioned over time to ignore your own true perceptions.

Only you have the wisdom deep inside, that is compassionate and intelligent. Only you alone hold the key and the power to choose to perceive yourself and the world around you in a new way or in the way you once perceived them before the abuser invaded your inner voice.

Use these tips to help you retrain your inner voice:

Learn to Over-ride these Untrue Perceptions – Trust your intuition and listen to hear your own guiding voice. There are other voices in your head; negative, untrue invading voices but you need to be able to tell which one is your own. The ones that are true, and real, the ones that hold your true qualities and intelligence. It will take time but you will find it if you listen closely.

Learning what selfish and What’s Not – It is not selfish to set boundaries and to protect your emotional and mental health. Take the first step in doing what’s best for you, your brain and heart.

IGNORE these negative thoughts when it enters your mind 

you are not good enough

you are inadequate

something is wrong with you 

you do not deserve happiness

you have nothing special to offer anyone

you will just ruin it so why bother trying

Stop looking for the answers from strangers the answers to your life are within you only you know what makes your heart feel at home

Always remind yourself that those negative voices are NOT your own thoughts and you will be able to tell because they do not support who you truly are. Remember you were conditioned to ignore your true inner voice by your abuser.

 

None GMO Really!!

What is GMO?

A GMO, or genetically modified organism, is a plant, animal, microorganism or another organism whose genetic makeup has been modified in a laboratory using genetic engineering or transgenic technology. This creates combinations of plant, animal, bacterial and virus genes that do not occur in nature or through traditional crossbreeding methods. The genetic modification affects many of the products we consume on a daily basis. As the number of GMOs available for commercial use grows every year, the Non-GMO Project works diligently to provide the most accurate, up-to-date standards for non-GMO verification.

There must be some room for human error! hmmm Boosting sales and getting richer by promoting these fruits.

Let’s get dirty with the NON-GMO’s:

Did you know a lot of fruits today are genetically modified to be twice as sweet as it was before? Take for example bananas are already genetically modified yet they are claiming that some are none GMO.

All The Bananas We Eat Today Are Genetically Modified From ONE Single Banana!

 

The NON-GENETICALLY MODIFIED vs THE GENETICALLY MODIFIED BANANA:

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OMG to the Bananas we have now because there is no way I would eat a banana like those in the old days, it’s less attractive and according to research it was not tasty at all. Bananas and other fruits have already been modified to be sweeter more attractive to attract customers to consume more. Claiming its healthy!

The NON-Genetically Modified WATERMELON:

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In case some of you are wondering this is what Watermelon used to look like before it was genetically modified to be sweeter and more attractive and yes it is more attractive, I wouldn’t eat this at all it looks tasteless and not attractive. I’m just taking a wild guess here it’s twice as healthy than what we have now… Hmmm

The Non-Genetically Modified CARROT vs The Genetically Modified Carrot:

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Now, this carrot is just ridiculous it looks like the root of a small tree or a stick compared to how it is today I’m sure most people won’t go back to eating a carrot that looks like this.

Now are we supposed to be on the alert though because to be honest if we are consuming these fruits on a daily basis and was genetically modified ages ago to be twice or three times sweeter than it was long ago, then now I understand why people who are Diabetic get serious spikes to their blood sugar, leaving reasons for me to believe that most fruits are not all that healthy as they claim. That’s my opinion I maybe wrong.

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Why say fruit is NON-GMO when it was already Genetically Modified many many years ago?

 

To Each His Own

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To each his own! How many people actually believe this? 

I am an active user of the Quora digest and it is very interesting if you all don’t know about the site you should visit. I visit the site every day for the past 6 months and it’s a great website where you can ask any questions you like and receive honest and unbiased answers. Wait did I just say! “UNBIASED”; Well except for any questions about GOD maybe there are other biased answers but GOD is the question that gets the most attention from the Atheists I mean.

My question is Athesis always trying to force their opinions about God on others? I thought everyone is entitled to their own opinions, I have no problems with the Athesis however, I do have a problem with them trying to force their opinions; is like there everywhere trolling certain sites.

I say believe in what you want what makes you feel comfortable no one should ever try to force their opinions on you.

Here is a perfect example of forcing your beliefs on someone.

During my years of studying psychology if someone were to ask me a question like this, I’d offer words of encouragement or maybe tell this person to speak to a Psychologist on how they are feeling. Atheist just takes things to a whole different level. See below:

Anonymous asked:    WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE TO MAKE GOD HATE ME?

Amazingly two Atheist had this to say and maybe to an already distraught individual, whatever his or her reason is for asking a question like this. See Below:

1. Anonymous Atheist answered: You have a negative outlook of yourself, but don’t worry about it is because of a vengeful God…Why you may ask? Well, there is no such thing as God. You will find people with negative attitudes tend to attract negative events, it’s not because of a vengeful none existent God. Be positive in your outlook and actions and you will find more positive than negative things start to happen to you.

2. Anonymous Atheist answered: By not following his rules.

 

TO EACH HIS OWN!!!

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Atheist cults – Conservapedia –   https://www.conservapedia.com > Atheist

 

 

 

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